Posts Tagged ‘internets’

Back to the Future

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Whoa! Generic blog alert!

The backend of this blog had become buggy and strange after two years of WordPress updates. Today I did a clean reinstall, and everything should be back to normal. Except, apparently, the interface. This is probably a call to do what I should have done long ago: sculpt the blog into something beyond what it is now. Visit spamguy.org and you will be met with a surprise. Or rather, a non-surprise: there’s nothing there. I will never be happy until real content on that domain—not the blog—represents me.

Japanese Seizure Robots Whores Out

Monday, January 19th, 2009

Japanese Seizure Robots is a staple of those who have lived on the Internet a little too long. It’s a classic.

Sadly it slipped my mind for a few years. Upon return, I was horrified to see the spam crap they appended to it. I just want seizure robots, not a mail-order bride! Well, maybe we could strike a deal between the two.

Strawberry Pancakes, I'm Coming For You

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

All the elements were in place. I felt like treating myself for my upcoming birthday. I woke up early on Sunday and couldn’t get back to sleep. And most of all, this tune kept running through my head. It was clear I needed pancakes. So on my bike I hopped, all the while humming about pancakes. I wouldn’t get to have strawberry pancakes (Kerbey Lane Café doesn’t serve them), but anything pancake-related would satisfy the musical demon.

At Kerbey Lane, it became more than a craving: it was a divine mandate. The Pancake of the Day…

…was Strawberry. Weebl’s Stuff, you’ve done it again.

Dude, You Are Totally Racist Against Zombies

Thursday, August 14th, 2008

Dinosaur Comics has a new competitor in postmodern weirdness. Not new new, exactly, but new to me. Thinkin’ Lincoln is a webcomic dedicated to the disembodied heads of various historical figures and their hastily drawn antics. Example here. Together with Dinosaur Comics, Thinkin’ Lincoln creates a subgenre of humour that’s 50% lazy artistry and 50% gags that shouldn’t work but do. These boys make postmodern a freakin’ verb:

I hadn’t heard of Gregor MacGregor until Dinosaur Comics postmoderned him.

White Ninja Comics and anything you find in the back page of the Daily Texan aren’t part of this group. Where’s the 50% funny?

Mikhael Gorbachov

Thursday, July 10th, 2008

The only thing worse than metal music is Iron Curtain metal. It would take zombie killing and boobies to make me listen to that crap. Actually, a music video with both exists, and is aesthetically amazing to boot. The author’s stated mission of reproducing propoganda posters succeeds gloriously. Glorious…like the revolution.

(Yes, I’m aware my post’s title is not in line with Western spelling. That’s how the band spells it, that’s how I spell it. Suck borscht.)

Pepsi Poo

Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

Metafilter is famous for its snark. I’ve poked fun at their hair-trigger crankiness several times. When you’re watching the bloodshed from a safe, unregistered distance, it’s actually quite amusing. What, then, inspired me to pay my $5 after two years of lurking and eventually make a front page post myself, putting myself up to the same butchery I once enjoyed as a spectator? Maybe because I thought people would be amused. At worst, I might get off with a stern look.

Yeah, right. As weak as the post was, I really got the poo flung at me: accusations of cronyism, being a clueless newbie, the works. The situation wasn’t improved by the easy riffs made by a post scatological in nature.

This FPP could use some quality control… or some poop.

Better luck next time.

Something doesn’t smell right with this FPP.

Regarding my choice of username:

Eponypropriate. ((MeFites love words based on the root eponymous.))

“Spamguy?["] Man, they’re not even trying anymore.

You should be banned for your username alone.

AMIRITE?

And the final comment, to signify the post’s deletion:

This post was deleted for the following reason: As the owner of buttslol.com, I feel I share your feelings regarding stop signs that say “POOP”, but there’s not much there and people seem to not like this very much. Better luck next time around.

Camera Obscura

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

The portability of the MacBook Pro alone convinced me never to go back to desktop computing. There were other bonus perks, especially getting rid of my lousy Philips webcam, endearingly named ‘the spamcam,’ and the lousy webcam software. ((I grudgingly paid the shareware fee. At some point the developers decided what they were doing was so awesome that upgrading merited a second shareware fee.)) Manufactured in the age of dinosaurs (1998?), pieces were starting to fall off, the tripod was unstable, the USB jack had melted slightly, the resolution was substandard, and its output was…unpredictable.

spamcam, c. 2003

Five years after this picture was taken, I still don’t know how it managed to generate that. Or perhaps I should say, I still don’t know how I did that without going blind.

Confirmed In Bacon

Friday, May 23rd, 2008

What is it about bacon and stupid Internet ideas? No garden bench or tantalising pose makes clothing-qua-bacon look good. Were he wearing bacon-qua-clothing, and he were a she, then we’d have something.

Since we’re discussing food: I’m down to 174 lbs., which isn’t an outstanding drop since last I brought it up. Exercise hasn’t been that good lately due to IOL preparations and other work. It really is the diet/exercise duo that produces good results—news at 11.

Group Hug

Thursday, March 27th, 2008

Group Hug is to me what comfort food is to most others. When I’m feeling lousy (an increasingly common emotion) I go to Group Hug and remember that other people have screwed their lives up far, far worse. I haven’t cheated in relationships. I don’t cut myself. I haven’t fallen in love with past or present bosses.

Many scenarios painted there are fake, but I have had trouble distinguishing between the site’s truth and fiction. It doesn’t matter. Even if the site were 100% lies, it would be a digital soap opera, one that I can appreciate, one that still has its roots firmly planted in feasibility. Television soaps long ago gave up on recycled reality and have since found suspension of disbelief to be an acceptable crutch. For a good time, I recommend reading weekly soap opera summaries found in many newspapers.

MEHCAT

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

It’s been so long since a LOLCAT has made me, well, LOL. The glory has passed. I still keep icanhascheezburger in my RSS feed, but as LOLCAT making becomes easier and more accessible—widgets exist to do the hard Photoshopping for you—the point of the meme has fuzzed. I love to slam 4chan for being illiterate assholes, but goddamn it, they still produce fine, fine cat macros. I bring this particular one up because it rose to the challenge of making me LOL and won. For a full two minutes. Yep, animals with inverse cross-eyedness are cute, all right.

confuse