spamguy » films

LOL for the Good of the Party

spamguy — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 18:47:35 +0000

So Honecker—excuse me, I meant the Party Chairman—opens his window one morning and says to the sky, ‘Good morning, sun!’ And the sun replies, ‘Good morning, Chairman.’

That afternoon, the Party Chairman opens his window and says to the sky, ‘Good afternoon, sun!’ And the sun replies, ‘Good afternoon, Chairman.’

That evening, the Party Chairman opens his window and says to the sky, ‘Good evening, sun!’ The sun remains silent. The Party Chairman, feeling hurt, asks the sun, ‘Sun, why are you so silent?’ And the sun replies, ‘Screw you, I’m in the West now.’

Extracted from Das Leben Der Anderen. Not funny? Fine, go stick your prolitariat humour where the sun don’t shine, see if I care.

They Know What They Want And They Know How To Get It

spamguy — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 23:41:47 +0000

I was walking by Austin’s Paramount Theatre a couple weeks ago. The lettering on their sign was unfortunate. Not nearly as dumb as other theatre mistakes, but still amusing:

CLASSIC FILMS THAT OBSCURE OBJECT OF DESIRE

Paramount, like many arthouse theatres, is pandering to a microscopic niche market: the group of people that know what they want but would rather they didn’t. ((If you’re totally lost, here’s a hint.))

Kings of Power 4 Billion %

spamguy — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 07:52:15 +0000

Was yesterday too grumpy for you? Yup, now you know why I don’t write about myself. Good news, though—Paul Robertson has a new video out, Kings of Power Four Billion %. If his previous Pirate Baby Battle Street Fight 2006 was a masterpiece, then Kings of Power is no less than a twelve minute epic of seizure-inducing face melting. Square-Enix, I think you’ve found your art director and concept designer for Final Fantasy XIV. Seriously, guys, where is your New Ultimate Jesus?

Opie Can't Handle the Truth

spamguy — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 04:54:51 +0000

Whilst writing up a surprisingly long list of The Things Jack Nicholson Has Taught Us (a list that has given my life new perspective; thanks, Victoria!), one bit on IMDB’s profile made me do a double-take:

“The Andy Griffith Show” …. Marvin Jenkins / … (2 episodes, 1966-1967)
… aka Andy of Mayberry (USA: rerun title)
- Aunt Bee, the Juror (1967) TV episode …. Marvin Jenkins
- Opie Finds a Baby (1966) TV episode …. Mr. Garland

Two opposite realities collide. Jack Nicholson, the image of mental instability and carefree malice with an oh-so-cool smirk and receding hairline, lives in Mayberry, NC, the small town that needs only two police officers. The absurdity is overwhelming, but IMDB is never wrong. YouTube corroborates for us:

spamguy Classix #6: 'I'd Buy That for a Dollar'

spamguy — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 01:42:08 +0000

The Blog City incarnation of this blog will supposedly implode as the New Year takes over, so this will be the last rerun I post. A shame. I feel a new empathy for writers who opt for creating clip shows over developing new content.

This one’s from November 24, 2005.

I saw RoboCop this weekend. A fine movie. Yet for being a totally serious, dark film, it has a running gag that seems totally out of place and inexplicable. Over and over, people keep saying the line ‘I’d buy that for a dollar!’ It means nothing — perhaps a statement of agreement or acknowledgement — and people in real life don’t say that, so every instance of the line feels like an infusion of artificial culture. The whole movie, with high-tech props and megacorporations set inside a Detroit that is basically unchanged from our reality, is like a patchwork of real reality and movie reality, with only the chosen bits covered over. It’s not wrong; in fact, I find it rather creative. But to return to the ‘dollar’ tagline, it’s about as explicit a change of culture as you get in that movie.The concept reminds me of Atlas Shrugged (why do I keep coming back to that godawful book?), in which everyone says ‘Who is John Galt?’ as a rhetorical question with the culturally assigned meaning of ‘Some things don’t have answers.’ Unfortunately, people in reality have started using that line…Ayn Rand has won.

‘I’d buy that for a dollar’ is a lot neater than the John Galt nonsense, so what I propose is that we let Paul Verhoeven win too. Stick it in your regular conversations, even if it adds nothing. Let it mean whatever you think it means. Even better: if someone catches the RoboCop reference, give them a dollar.