The deeper recesses of Wikipedia tend to have the worst and least creative vandalism. In researching yesterday’s post about obnoxious riddles, I encountered Wikipedia’s analysis of the hypothetical question. Contrary to tradition, the article has been lovingly molested and twisted into brilliant absurdity. The examples cited are below, in case future authors trash the article in a last-ditch effort to maintain academic standards. (Ha!)
- What if there were no such thing as a hypothetical question?
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
- What if someone had a knife to cut us out of this hypothetical situation?
- Which would you rather fight, one queen-size mattress or two single-size mattresses?
- If you were a bear with chainsaw arms, what would be your stance on deforestation?
- What would you do if I cheated on you?
- What would you do if I slapped you?
- If trees screamed, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?
- What if they screamed all the time for no good reason?
- Would you rather have another sibling or a toaster oven?
- Would you rather kill a turtle or have one of your good friends become a Scientologist?
- Were I to be a pretty, pretty lady, would you love me?
- If a shark were to high-five a bear with chainsaw arms, would it make a sound?
- What if 3-ways were required by law?
- What if Thucydides had been Herodotus? Would it make a sound?
- Would it make a sound?
- Could God, in his infinite Wisdom and Power, create a beer so bad that he himself could not drink it?
- If tissues were edible, what wine would be served with them?
- What if, in 1980, plutonium was available at every corner store?
- What if Jesus was the ultimate drinker?
- If wine could become blood, what blood type would it be?
- If you were an Athenian during the Peloponesian War fleeing a litigious and plague ridden Athens, what former king/rapist turned bird would go to for help? For extra credit, after you have constructed a wall blocking heaven off from earth, how would you convince Heracles to let you marry the Princess in order to become the highest divinity of all?